Wow, this is... really cool. Like, splendiferous, but in a way that is cool instead of lame. My only criticism is that I think the last stanza doesn't hold up to the standards of the rest, it seems like it wandered in from some other poem. Maybe just the last two lines, I'm not sure.

But the opening? Whoa. Also the continued image of sharp things, which sounds stupid when I say but awesome when you do it.

--
Also, I can kill you with my brain.

the one that reminded me of you is "and here i am, a complete fool, in style." like a god of delusions.

Actually, I really love the last lines. They are what had the most emotional impact on me.

"I am happy to say
that I have arrived
(and deep down,
you do actually care.)"

But the whole poem is pretty fabulous. Nice work!

--
it's spring when the world is puddle-wonderful

just goes to show, everyone reads things differently. this is especially true for poems.
thank you!

Well done! This poem contains so many layers of introspection that I found myself reading it more than once. What I enjoy in this piece is the way you have used each stanza to shift between your observation of an imperfect (yet beautiful) earth and the inner workings of your own spirit. In addition to all of this, you have maintained the principles of found poetry, which include constructing a piece that can take on a variety of meanings.

“The mechanism of a wildcat
is no less beautiful for
the ferocity.”

This opening is very intriguing! I found myself using the “wildcat” as a parallel to the history of our society. While this world (like the creature) can be unforgiving, it is the unpredictability, the potential for action that makes this world precious. By using this analogy, you allude to a sense of Zen…neither praising nor condemning…simply observing! Awesome

“and here I am,
a complete fool, in style”

Another introspective stanza! My first impulse was to observe this through the lens of consumerism in America; meaning that, we often trade our identity to fit a generic model of acceptance!

This is a well crafted piece! Thank you for participating in my workshop!!

wow, thank you for such detailed critique! there are definitely parallels between the imperfection of the world at large and my own. i wasn't sure if the opening quite fit in with the rest of the poem, so i'm glad people seem to like it and not consider it too random for words. that's what metaphors are for, i suppose. the "complete fool" is my favorite stanza though i hadn't thought of it while i was writing it, now that you mention the connection, i can see what it might have to do with consumerism. i guess it is too ingrained for me to notice when i reference it.

i'm glad you like it, and good luck with this and future workshops!

Thank you Hopefully I will see you in another workshop. Feel free to trade ideas with me anytime!!

Congratulations on executing this fine found poem... it's layered & moving & complete!

I am in a new beginning
and now it is in pieces on my floor

...awesome mental imagery, and internal feelings!

Was this your first found poem?

I saw in another of your comments about how others see different aspects in a poem, and yes, that's so true, and it can also help the writer see even more in their words than even they realized ....

you did a great job!

--
玉

thank you very much! this was sort of my first found poem; i once "wrote" one that was an exercise in enjambment where i couldn't change the order of the words, just space them creatively (the stock market poem referenced in the artist's comments). so yes, this is the first rearrangement poem.